


What We Do to Survive

by RepressedGayClub



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Sokka (Avatar), also about sokka’s leg, this is basically just a zukka therapy fic about zuko's scar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26144365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RepressedGayClub/pseuds/RepressedGayClub
Summary: “Does it ever hurt?”The tips of Sokka’s fingers glide gently across Zuko’s scarred ear. Zuko nods once. His eyes screw shut as his head bows forward, shame bubbling underneath his skin. Sokka moves his hand quickly, as if his touch is poisonous. Zuko opens his eyes at the loss of Sokka’s fingers. Sokka is staring at him, concern blossoming through lips parted slightly, brows knit together, hand halted in the air.“Please,” Zuko says, almost a whisper. He places his palm over Sokka’s hand and guides it back to his face. Zuko flattens it against his scarred cheek, leaving his hand to rest atop Sokka’s. “It doesn’t hurt when it’s you.”
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 443





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure this has been done many times before, but it was living in my head rent free, and now it's living here rent free! I hope you enjoy this little hurt/comfort Zukka fic, let me know if you liked it, and feel free to check out my other Zukka fics :^)

“Does it ever hurt?”

The tips of Sokka’s fingers glide gently across Zuko’s scarred ear. Zuko nods once. His eyes screw shut as his head bows forward, shame bubbling underneath his skin. Sokka moves his hand quickly, as if his touch is poisonous. Zuko opens his eyes at the loss of Sokka’s fingers. Sokka is staring at him, concern blossoming through lips parted slightly, brows knit together, hand halted in the air.

“Please,” Zuko says, almost a whisper. He places his palm over Sokka’s hand and guides it back to his face. Zuko flattens it against his scarred cheek, leaving his hand to rest atop Sokka’s. “It doesn’t hurt when it’s you.”

“Baby,” Sokka whimpers, eyes stinging. He runs his thumb across Zuko’s lower lip. Zuko rests his hand on Sokka’s arm and rubs small circles into his skin. “How bad?”

“Not that bad. A dull ache at worst.”

“That’s still too much,” Sokka grumbles. Zuko gives him a tiny smile.

“What are you gonna do, fight my scar?”

“Maybe. It wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t know. I’d say it’s an even match.” Sokka’s smile is brief, then all hints of humor in his face subside as he looks on at the water, eyes squinted, fingers still on Zuko’s cheek. Zuko watches in curiosity. “What? What are you thinking about?”

“The only person I really want to fight is your father,” Sokka says as he looks back at Zuko, expression solemn and serious. Zuko sighs and runs his hand along the length of Sokka’s arm.

“Do you remember the story of how it happened?” Zuko asks quietly. Sokka’s eyes screw shut, but he doesn’t move his hand.

“I could never forget it. But you can tell me again,” Sokka’s eyes open once more, glossy and encouraging. “If you want to.” 

Zuko looks down and a tear escapes. Sokka curls his fingers toward his palm, leaving his thumb directly below Zuko’s eye, effectively catching the tear. They lock eyes. Without saying a word, they both shift their positions at the same time. Sokka leans against a large rock and opens his arms to Zuko, who curls his arms around Sokka’s waist, head turned upward, scar facing him. Sokka kisses his cheek three times in quick succession, pausing his lips there for a moment. Zuko holds onto him tightly, as if Sokka is the only thing keeping him on the ground.

“I was a stupid kid,” Zuko begins quietly, a vacant look in his eyes.

“No you weren’t, and even if you were, that doesn’t mean you deserved—”

“I know that. Now. But I should’ve known what he was capable of. I was young and naive, and I don’t blame myself anymore, but it was hard not to at first. Especially when I’m reminded every time I look in the mirror.”

“Zuko,” Sokka says, hugging him closer. “That must’ve been horrible.” Though Zuko shrugs, his lip begins to tremble slightly. He shifts his position so he’s lying between Sokka’s legs in front of him on the sand. Sokka adjusts accordingly, comfortably wrapping one arm around Zuko from behind, leaving the other to rest on his knee.

“I’m not innocent,” Zuko mumbles.

“What do you mean?”

“After my banishment, it felt like all I could see was red. I was so angry at myself, and I know now that anger was displaced, but I can’t excuse the fact that I took it out on everyone else. Including…” Zuko’s voice cracks as he avoids eye contact. “Including you.”

“Hey,” Sokka says firmly, forcing Zuko to look at him once more. “We both know that isn’t you. You were traumatized, backed into a corner where the only emotion you could feel was rage. That isn’t an excuse. It’s what we do to survive.”

Zuko gives a small nod. “Thank you for saying that. Anyway, they weren’t going to let me into the war room, but my uncle let me in anyway. He told me not to talk, but I didn’t understand what would happen if I did. So, when I heard they were planning on sacrificing soldiers, I thought my input could make a difference. I’ve never heard a room get so quiet that fast. The looks on their faces, they...couldn’t say anything because I was the Fire Lord’s son, but they also knew exactly what would happen to me.” Sokka scoffs in anger.

“That’s disgusting. You were just a kid. Somebody should’ve done something.”

Zuko’s voice is barely above a whisper. “They were conditioned to not care. I could see it in their faces during the meeting. It wasn’t real to them. That’s why they were able to watch during the Agni Kai. It still wasn’t real.”

“I would’ve done something.”

“You would’ve been a powerless kid just like me. What could you have done?”

“I would die for you, Zuko.”

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” Zuko says quietly, stroking his thumb absentmindedly against Sokka’s arm.

“It’s true, though,” Sokka insists.

“You didn’t know me then.”

“True, but I would still be willing to die for what’s right. Child abuse isn’t right.” A tear falls onto Zuko’s cheek, but he smiles.

“You’re a good person, Sokka. That’s the difference,” Zuko says, then kisses Sokka’s arm. Sokka sighs and kisses the back of Zuko’s head. “So, the Agni Kai inevitably came. I don’t even remember being scared at first. I felt invincible. Until I turned around and saw my father standing in front of me instead of the general. I could barely breathe.”

Zuko can feel Sokka shaking, but he’s silent. Zuko continues, “I bowed to him. Pleaded to him. Begged him to let me fall back in line unharmed.”

“A kid,” Sokka whispers, almost silent. Zuko nods. “How bad did it hurt?” Zuko blinks rapidly, several tears escaping onto his cheeks.

“Indescribably,” Zuko says, voice breaking. Sokka lets out a small whimper, then pulls Zuko even closer into his chest, cocking his head to kiss his cheek. Zuko turns his head, too, catching Sokka’s lips with his. The kiss is brief, but intense, and Zuko can feel Sokka’s freely flowing tears. When they pull away, Zuko maneuvers his body so he’s facing Sokka, knees pressed into the sand. With both hands, he wipes the tears from Sokka’s cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry, Zuko,” Sokka weeps.

“I know, baby. I know.”

“I want to kill him for what he did to you,” Sokka practically growls, defensiveness shining through the tears, anger dripping into an uncharacteristically low voice.

“Shh,” Zuko says softly. “Don’t think about him. Be here with me.” Sokka blinks several times, face softening by the second. He nods slowly. Zuko knows he isn’t convinced, so he moves next to Sokka, leaning against the rock. He holds out his arms. “Come here.”

Sokka doesn’t hesitate to wrap himself around Zuko, his head finding home in the crook of his neck, legs tangled comfortably with Zuko’s. Zuko strokes his cheek gently with one hand, using the other to pull Sokka closer into him. Beginning to sob, Sokka nuzzles his face into Zuko’s skin. When he gasps for air, Zuko says, “It’s okay. I’m okay,” over and over, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

“Not...okay…” Sokka murmurs between breaths, but Zuko shushes him.

“Hey,” Zuko says, tilting Sokka’s chin upward so their eyes meet. Sokka’s face is riddled with despair, eyes huge and brimming with sympathy. “You know I love you, right?” Sokka nods, the corners of his mouth perking up.

“It doesn’t hurt to hear it, though.” Zuko smiles at him during a brief moment of silence. “Seriously, go on.” Zuko exhales a short laugh.

“I love you so much, I hardly ever think about this stuff anymore.”

“Really?” 

“It’s hard to focus on the bad things when I’ve got the best thing right in front of me.” Sokka sighs in adoration, cheeks blushing. “But times like these, when I do think about it, I’m able to pull myself out of that place, because I’ve got you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for that.”

Sokka grins. “It’s nothing,” he says nonchalantly. Zuko leans forward, their noses almost touching.

“It’s everything. You’ve shown me how to live beyond just surviving. You’ve shown me what life is worth.” Sokka clutches his chest dramatically, going limp in Zuko’s arms.

“Stop, it’s too much!” Sokka jokes. “I’m going to be the first person to die of cuteness overload.” Zuko chuckles and gently lays Sokka on the sand.

“Well, don’t do that,” Zuko says, hovering his body over Sokka’s. Sokka smiles and rests his hands on Zuko’s back. “You’re not going anywhere.”

Sokka hums fondly, then says, “Everything I need is right here.” Sokka places his left hand over Zuko’s scar. Zuko exhales and closes his eyes, expression void of worry. When he opens them, he moves Sokka’s hand to kiss it, then places it on his neck. Then, feverishly and restoratively, Zuko kisses Sokka, allowing his desperation to come to the forefront. Their hands are everywhere all at once, desire burning their fingertips.

When he eventually pries their bodies apart to remove his clothes, Zuko looks around at the water, the moon, and the beautiful man in front of him. 

All he can see is blue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, I thought this was a oneshot, but I was wrong! I realized Sokka deserves to work through his trauma and pain just as much as Zuko, so here we are. I hope you enjoy it!

“Baby.”

Sokka turns his head to look at Zuko, the midday sun illuminating half of his face, the other left in shadow. He cheerily says, “Hi, baby,” then continues to trudge up the side of the mountain, practically dragging his leg with him. Zuko’s brows furrow.

“Sokka.” Sokka finally stops walking and turns to face his boyfriend, looking down at him from his high vantage point. Though Zuko is crossing his arms impatiently, Sokka smiles.

“Yes, my love?”

“You’re limping.”

“Am I? Huh,” Sokka shrugs and attempts to keep going, but Zuko is quick enough to grab his wrist. Sokka turns his head back, weariness slipping into his face. 

“Let’s take a break,” Zuko says.

“I don’t need a break—”

“Fine, then, I need a break. How’s that?” Zuko asks. Sokka smiles playfully and shakes his head, so Zuko tugs on his arm, then says gently, “Please.” Sokka sighs, but his weakest spot has just been hit, so he nods.

They find a flat part of the mountain, where Zuko sits first. “There’s not much room here,” he says with a smirk, opening his arms, “but I think we can make it work.”

Sokka is unable to hide a wince as he sits down, but his overwhelmingly casual smile remains. He settles into the small space next to Zuko, resting his head on his shoulder. Sokka’s injured leg curls toward him limply, while the other dangles freely off the rock. Zuko reaches toward Sokka’s ankle.

“Can I?” Zuko asks quietly, hand hesitating over Sokka’s leg. Sokka nods slowly. Carefully, Zuko places Sokka’s ankle in his lap, and Sokka shifts so he’s sitting upright. Sokka’s clearly trying his best to appear normal, but he isn’t breathing. As lightly as he can, Zuko rubs Sokka’s leg with both hands. “Sokka, it’s swollen.”

“It’s fine,” Sokka says quickly, but he whimpers when Zuko’s thumb makes contact with his ankle. Zuko hums and gives him a look as if to say, _You’re full of shit_. Sokka avoids it completely.

“Clearly it’s not fine. How long has it been flaring up?”

“It hasn’t been—”

“Sokka.” Zuko’s voice commands his attention. Sokka looks into his eyes and nods.

“Okay, fine. A couple weeks.”

“A couple weeks?”

“Zuko—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Zuko’s passionate concern could be misinterpreted as anger, but Sokka knows better. He sighs.

“It’s embarrassing. Okay?”

“Embarrassing? How?”

“The war was years ago. It’s not supposed to hurt anymore,” Sokka says as he looks out on the landscape with guilty eyes. With two fingers, Zuko moves Sokka’s chin so they’re looking at each other. 

“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been,” Zuko says, taking Sokka’s hand and placing it over his scar. Sokka screws his eyes shut. “Time doesn’t heal everything.” Sokka opens his eyes as Zuko leans in, and meets him for a short kiss. When it’s over, a tear falls down Sokka’s cheek.

“I know,” he says solemnly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you—”

“Shh,” Zuko coos as Sokka lays his head against his shoulder once again. “I know what you meant. It’s okay. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“About...?”

“The war.”

“Oh,” Sokka says, surprised. 

“We don’t have to.”

“No,” Sokka says, though he looks unsure. “It’s just...I haven’t talked about it in so long, with anyone.” Sokka looks up at Zuko and places his thumb on his chin with a small smile. “But you’re not just anyone.” Zuko smiles back, hugging him closer.

“I’d hope not,” Zuko says. They fall into a silence in which Sokka’s body grows more rigid in Zuko’s arms. He takes in a shaky breath.

“What...” Sokka clears his throat. “What did you want to know?” 

“Tell me what happened to your leg. Only if you think it’ll make you feel better.” 

Sokka is quiet for another long while, before finally beginning, “I thought I was gonna die. I thought...I thought...” His voice breaks as he looks up at Zuko, tears filling his wide blue eyes. Zuko is quick to cradle Sokka’s head in his hand comfortingly. “I thought Toph was gonna die,” Sokka whimpers before breaking down completely.

“Oh, darling,” Zuko says softly, guiding Sokka’s head to his shoulder. Sokka presses his face into Zuko’s neck, his arms holding his waist for dear life. Zuko kisses Sokka’s forehead and says, “I’m sorry. I bet that was terrifying.” Sokka manages a nod.

“It’s not even the first or last time I almost died, but to think of— Toph— and it...it would’ve been my fault,” Sokka says miserably. 

“No,” Zuko says sternly. “It wouldn’t have been anyone’s fault. And besides,” Zuko kisses Sokka’s cheek, then continues, “you’re the one who saved Toph, right? Not anyone would’ve been able to do that.” Sokka looks up at him, a tiny smile shining through the tears.

“I mean, I _did_ disarm two fire nation soldiers using only my boomerang and sword,” Sokka says proudly. Zuko chuckles.

“Oh, you did?” Zuko says with an eyebrow raised. Sokka sits up excitedly.

“Mhmm,” Sokka says. “We had to jump ship when a firebender shot at us, and we hit a beam, which I landed flat on. Toph fell, but I caught her hand. That’s when I took out the soldiers.” Zuko smiles and pokes his side.

“You were so brave.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sokka says with an eye roll, clearly suspecting he’s being made fun of. Zuko takes both of Sokka’s hands in his.

“I mean it, Sokka,” Zuko says, kissing Sokka’s hand. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that. It sounds really traumatic.” Sokka shrugs at first, then goes very still. His chest rises and falls quickly, his jaw slack. Zuko’s voice is alarmed, “Sokka? What’s wrong?”

Sokka takes one more shaky breath, his eyes wet with fresh tears. “She was,” Sokka’s voice lowers to a whisper. “She was crying. She was so scared. And my hand— my hand was slipping. She looked like she knew she was going to die. There was nothing I could do.”

“Sokka,” Zuko says, tears prickling his eyes and falling down his cheeks quickly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Sokka pulls Zuko in this time, bringing his head to his chest, resting his chin on soft dark hair. Zuko hugs him close, practically sitting in Sokka’s lap. Sokka continues to cry, but he focuses on comforting Zuko instead, holding him steady with one arm and smoothing his hair with the other.

“Baby,” Sokka whispers close to Zuko’s ear. “It’s okay. Hmm?” he lifts Zuko’s chin with his fingers, breaking his own heart upon seeing golden eyes overflowing with tears. Sokka wipes the tears away, then kisses Zuko’s cheek. “I’m here.”

“You’re here,” Zuko echoes. He turns his torso so they’re face-to-face. Zuko places his hands on the back of Sokka’s neck. Sokka closes his eyes when Zuko touches their foreheads together. “You were brave, and you made it through. I’m proud of you, Sokka.” Sokka’s eyes open.

“I didn’t even save us,” Sokka grumbles, looking away. “Suki saved us with another airship.”

“Uh-uh, hey,” Zuko says as he moves Sokka’s chin back to its original position. “You were still brave, darling. Even the bravest people need saving sometimes, right?” Sokka shrugs and Zuko sighs. Zuko shifts so he’s completely facing Sokka, legs on either side of Sokka’s hips. Sokka looks up at him, surprised. His hands automatically rest on Zuko’s hips comfortably. “Take me, for example. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for other people. People like you.”

Sokka smiles. “Don’t use your sexiness to emotionally manipulate me,” he teases. Zuko shakes his head, but his stance is unbreaking.

“I’m not manipulating anything,” Zuko says. He tilts Sokka’s head so he’s looking directly up at him. “I just want you to look at me.” Sokka’s expression softens, eyes wide as he looks at Zuko. “Everything you feel is okay. Even the bad things. Okay?” All Sokka can do is nod, willing more tears not to spill. He cranes his neck upward.

“Kiss me. Please—” Zuko complies, bowing his head to kiss Sokka. Sokka physically relaxes, sitting up as much as he can. The kiss is sweet at first, but grows desperate. Zuko breaks away to kiss Sokka’s neck, eliciting a whine from him. He pulls away and smiles at him, sunlight creating a halo around his head. “You’re beautiful,” Sokka breathes.

Zuko shifts his weight, in turn putting too much pressure on Sokka’s leg, causing him to yelp. Quickly, Zuko moves away from Sokka, horrified.

“I’m sorry! I’m—” Zuko gasps when he goes to rest his hand on the rock and almost falls from the mountain. Without missing a beat, Sokka pulls him back close to him.

“Baby, be careful!” Sokka hugs him, attempting to get him as far from the edge as possible. “Are you okay?” Zuko nods.

“Is...your leg...Did I hurt you?” Zuko’s voice is small. Sokka shushes him.

“No, sweetheart. I’m fine.” Zuko breathes a relieved sigh and nods. He reaches for Sokka’s leg.

“Can I try something?”

“You know you can do whatever you want to me,” Sokka says, forcing Zuko to blush. He focuses his energy on his hands, effectively heating them. Cautiously, he places them on Sokka’s leg, massaging the tender skin. Sokka inhales sharply, and Zuko moves his hands away, but Sokka puts them back. “No, it feels good,” he urges.

“Good,” Zuko says contentedly, continuing. They fall silent, except for periodic winces from Sokka. 

Sokka stares at the ground, however far away. “The funniest thing,” he says eventually with an expression void of humor, “is that my leg was the last thing on my mind. It hurt like hell, but I would’ve broken every bone in my body to save her. I would’ve died to save her.”

“But you didn’t. Now, you’re just left with the pain.”

“Y-Yeah. I guess so.”

“I wish I could take that away.”

“You do,” Sokka insists. “Every single day. If you can’t tell, this is...this is the first time I’ve ever talked about it with anyone. I guess that’s why it’s hard to talk about. I don’t like remembering it.”

“That makes sense. How does it feel to talk about it now?” Sokka’s head tilts upward and his eyes scour the sky like he’ll find an answer in the clouds.

“It feels scary. But I’m telling _you_ , so it feels warm, too. I feel like I’m on fire, but it’s good.”

“That might be because I’m giving you a heat massage right now,” Zuko smirks, and Sokka pushes his face away with a giggle.

“Shut up. I mean it, it’s like—” Sokka sighs and goes back to searching the sky. “It’s like, when I did let myself think about it, I always felt cold. I always felt alone.” He looks at Zuko, who’s biting his lip, hands momentarily paused. “But telling you now, seeing the way you’re looking at me, I’m starting to understand the danger, the fear. Then again, I’m looking at _you_ , and when I’m looking at you, I know everything will be okay. You make everything okay for me. All of it mixed together feels like a summer day.” Zuko leans in for a chaste kiss, then goes back to work.

“Do you remember last month, when we went to the beach?” Zuko asks. Sokka grins and wiggles his eyebrows.

“How could I forget? That’s when you did that thing with your—”

“I meant,” Zuko interrupts, cheeks already burning, “do you remember what we talked about? Before that?” Sokka smiles.

“Of course, baby. I’m just teasing you,” Sokka says fondly.

“Yeah, okay.” Zuko rolls his eyes. “Anyway, remember what you said, about doing what you have to do to survive? I think for you, not talking about it or thinking about it was what it took for you to survive. But you don’t have to just survive anymore. I want to help you accept this as a part of you.”

“I...Really?” Sokka sputters.

“It doesn’t have to be today. It doesn’t even have to be soon. I’ve got a lifetime.” Zuko moves his hands from Sokka’s legs to his shoulders. Sokka is painfully aware of his increasing heartrate, begging tears not to come for the third time. The vulnerability is almost too much.

Shakily, he replies, “ _We’ve_ got a lifetime.” Sokka’s eyes scour Zuko’s features, trying to come up with adequate words. “I— love you. Love you— I love you _so_ much—”

Zuko interrupts with an, “I love you, too,” and a short kiss. When he pulls away, he asks, “Sokka?”

“Yes, beautiful?”

“Can we go home now?” Zuko asks, glancing at the ground anxiously.

“Home?” Sokka asks incredulously. “What about the hike?”

“What— Are you serious? Sokka, your leg is hurt, and we’ve been sitting here forever, and—”

“I’m kidding. We can go home. But only if you promise to do that thing you did on the beach.” Zuko stands up, poorly hidden embarrassment creeping into his posture. He looks down at Sokka and holds out his hand.

“Only if you promise to let me help you down.”

“I don’t need—” Sokka automatically begins to say, then stops. He looks up at Zuko, the same warm feeling of trust radiating through his body. Zuko nods slowly in reassurance, reaching his hand further toward him. Sokka nods back and takes it, allowing Zuko to pull him up. He rests his arm around Zuko’s shoulders, shifting his weight enough to move back toward the trail.

Sokka is so focused on Zuko, his skin glowing in the sunlight, the tight grip of his hand around his waist, the attentiveness in every movement, he almost forgets about the pain. If this is what living past surviving feels like, Sokka decides to never go back.


End file.
